[ Applause ]
That's right.
I want to hear that love.
[ Laughter ]
All right.
[ Inaudible Remark ]
[ Inaudible Remark ]
[ Inaudible Remark ]
[ Inaudible Remark ]
[ Inaudible Remark ]
All right.
Can y'all hear it?
Yeah.
All right.
My name is Jose Ruiz, I'm an alcoholic.
And my sobriety day is October 29th of 1995.
And if I make it, which I know I'm going to make it,
it was the end of the month.
I'll have 30 years of continuous sobriety.
[ Applause ]
I have a whole group, which is the walk dimension group
of alcoholic synonymous.
And we meet every Friday night at the Presbyterian Church
in Newport, Richie.
And if y'all down there on a Friday night come visit us,
we have a speaker meeting similar to this.
And we'll love to have you.
Wow.
So let me just share with you guys a little bit
about what it was like, what happened,
and what it's like for me today,
being a member of Holocaust.
I'm the oldest of three boys.
I was born in the Caribbean.
I was born on another island in Puerto Rico.
And my parents moved to New Jersey when I was,
I think I was one or two years old.
And we settled in a place called Hoboken, New Jersey.
That's in North Jersey and Hudson County.
And we lived there for a couple of years.
And again, my dad had a brownstone, a home,
and it caught up fine.
And then we had to go up to him to another town
called Union City, New Jersey.
And that's where we stayed until I was 18 years old.
You know, the house that my dad had in Hoboken
took the time for it to get put back together.
And then eventually he ended up renting all that stuff out.
And we had another house in Union City.
And we stayed there because my mom didn't want to go back.
She didn't want to go back to Hoboken.
I come from a very loving family.
I couldn't ask for the best parents in this world.
And I say that because you know what?
I was raised right.
I had a mom that all she did was give us unconditional love.
My mom never worked.
My mom never, I mean, she worked at home.
She took care of three of us.
But to say that my mom had a job going to a factory or going,
that never happened.
My dad was the breadwinner.
And that's just the way it was.
You know, I mean, I grew up watching Fonzie.
And Abe is enough.
And I'm telling you my age.
You know what I'm saying?
But that's the upbringing that I had.
And I was raised Catholic.
And I ended up going to parochial school.
And this is a big part of my story, you know.
And I'm going to share this because this is why I started printing.
Right?
I was in parochial school and I was about 10, 11 years old.
I was sexually abused by a Catholic priest.
And when that happened to me, my whole work, my whole life changed.
You know, I became a man and a boy.
I mean, a man and a boy.
Alcohol did for me, but nothing could do for me.
You know, when that happened to me, I was terrified.
You know, and I was afraid to tell my dad because number one,
I didn't want my dad to go to jail and I didn't want to lose my dad.
So I held all that in for many, many years.
Many years.
Eventually, I got kicked out of parochial schools because I got caught drinking their wine
because that's what I did.
I went, you know, and I started drinking their wine and I started being disruptive.
And I started behaving really bad.
You know, at one point, they told my parents that they needed to take me to go see a child
psychologist because of the way I was behaving.
And I would go to the child psychologist and I would tell them exactly what they wanted
to hear so they would leave me alone.
I never told them the truth.
I never disclosed anything that had happened to me because I didn't want my dad to go to jail.
I didn't want to lose my father.
My father was my hero.
He was, he was the mayor.
From the age of 12 to the age of 16, I got in a lot of trouble.
I ended up doing out the tempting centers.
I ended up being disruptive with the teachers at school.
I ended up going to a public school and when I was 14 years old and I was getting ready
to graduate high school, I mean, eighth grade, elementary, I didn't even graduate.
They kicked me out because I just couldn't stop drinking.
You know, I couldn't stop drinking.
You know, when I share this with you guys, I'm not sharing this so you guys can feel sorry
for me.
I share this because I'm no longer a victim.
I'm a survivor.
And you could accept that.
And alcohol continued to be one of the greatest assets for me.
You know, I shared this football story.
It was the summer of 1984, eighth grade, and were rehearsed for graduation.
So, you know, my dad has, upload, the houses have basements, not like Florida.
So, my dad had all his liquor stuff in the basement.
You know, bar and all that stuff.
So, I told all my friends, let's go to my dad's house, we can drink.
You know, I just, you know, have a few drinks.
I was the type of guy that, at the age of 14, when I took one drink, I couldn't stop with one drink.
My disease of alcoholism was already rampant, full blown.
Everybody had drunk.
They went back to the school to rehearsal.
I stayed home.
I couldn't go back.
So, when they went back, they started throwing up in the gymnasium.
And then they pointed all the fingers at me.
So, I got a big trouble.
They suspended me from the graduation.
My parents were out buying me a suit.
I burned a tinkle factory.
And I was so drunk that I passed out in the basement.
And the truth, I don't know if you guys know what truth officers are.
Truth officers are the guys that come and knock on your door at home when you're in trouble.
The school sent them, and they left a red note.
My dad, not knowing English, because my parents don't speak English, had the neighbor read the note to him.
And the neighbor told them, "You have to go to school because they want to see your sons in trouble."
So, when they went, they told my parents that I wasn't going to graduate.
That I got kicked out of the graduation because of the drinking.
So, my mom came home, and that looked on her face.
I'm 55 years old, and I talk about this, and it's still like, it's still burners inside.
She was crying.
And she said, "We don't know what to do with you."
So, they took me back to the psychologist, and I just didn't talk.
I kept all this stuff like that.
So, the principal told my parents, "If he goes to summer school, we'll get him off to high school."
My mom said, "We go into summer school. My mom will dress me, and get me out the door. I just never went."
I hung out with my friends in the school yards.
And we were hanging out, and I just never went to school because, you know, alcoholics have keen minds, right?
In my mind, I said, "Well, you know, my brother, I have a brother that's one year younger than me."
I said, "I can go to do eighth grade all over again, and then me and him can graduate together."
And my mom and my dad would be happy.
So, when September came around, I showed up to the elementary school.
Who saw me. His name was Mr. Sanger.
And he took one look at me, and he said, "Oh, hell no."
We're not going to put up another year of your shit. It's exactly what he told me.
And he just signed off, and then they sent me to high school.
I only went to high school because they sent me them.
Now, when I went to high school, that was another experience. It was a terrifying experience.
Because up in New Jersey, the school that I went to, you went from kindergarten to eighth grade, and then you went 9, 10, 11, and 12.
So, I was in the high school with a bunch of older dudes and older girls, and I didn't know what to do.
I never made it to high school. I dropped out at the age of 16.
I dropped out of high school. I was giving my parents a lot of trouble. Like I said, you know, I just wasn't --
I wasn't fit to be among my peers. I didn't feel a part of.
I felt less than.
And I just didn't care about high school.
The only thing I cared about was drinking. I drank every freaking day, you know, just to get by.
I have an uncle that owns a plumbing and heating company in Brooklyn, New York, my father's old brother.
And I was driving my dad, and I was driving him up the wall.
And my uncle came and said, "You're coming with me?"
"You're coming with me in Brooklyn?"
I ended up with my aunt and my uncle, and then my uncle said, "You need to do something with your life."
So, they put me into a plumbing and apprenticeship program. I went and got my GED.
And I started this plumbing and apprenticeship program, and that was cool because I was making money and I was drinking.
You know, and I'll tell you, you know, I went to school for five years. I graduated in 1990.
And I turned out as a German plumber in the state of New York. And working in that field, drinking was acceptable.
Very acceptable to the point where I get paid on Friday on Sunday over broke.
And I was making good money. You know, and when I graduated in 1991, 1990, excuse me, my grandmother got sick and then we had to go.
My grandmother got diagnosed with breast cancer, so my mom took off to the island.
And, you know, she called my dad and she said, "This is not good. I need the kids to come."
My mom was asking for the kids, so I ended up in Puerto Rico.
And I'll tell you that was like, "Yeah, baby. What a change."
So, when I say that, you need to understand, you know, I go from 20 to 30 to 40 degree weather in January, February.
And I'm in Puerto Rico in this 80 degree weather. And this 90 degree weather and back to 80.
Who the hell wants to go back to New York?
And I got to meet my family. My mom had 16 children and my father's mother had 20 more kids.
So, I have cousins that I've never met in my life.
And uncles, because we were in the States, you know, and I was going around meeting all my family.
And there was no age limit for drinking in the island.
And I had an uncle that worked for the dog pool, Puerto Rican, run, manufacturing company.
I had VIP, exclusively, drinking privileges for free. So, I drank, you know, and my grandmother died.
And, you know, at the very end, you know, I met this young lady. Can't actually get that way.
We had a house. We had a fence. You know, she was very loving. She was very kind.
We had a child. She got pregnant with my first child.
When she was getting ready to get birth, I was not president. I was drinking.
And when her water broke and they took her to the hospital, I was not there.
My dad came looking for me and they found me. My dad found me. He took me to the hospital.
And I got there. I was drunk. I couldn't hold this over a bus.
And, you know, they put those babies in those little incubators.
And they told me that's your son and there was no connection. I had no connection.
And her dad was so pissed that her dad said to her, "Do you want to be with this piece of shit?"
And the only thing she said was, "Dad, he doesn't drink. He's my baby."
But the problem was, I couldn't stop drinking.
She got out of the hospital and she went to her family's house because I couldn't --
I mean, we had a house and she just went with her family. And I promised her. I said, "Look, you know, let's go to Florida.
Let's go back to the United States." I had a buddy of mine in Miami in Hollywood.
I called him and I said, "I need to make a change." And he says, "Come up. Come to Florida."
So I promised her if she would go with me, I would change.
And we got to that airport and that's how far she got.
Once we were at the airport in San Juan, I had the baby in my hand and she asked me,
"Can I see the baby? I want to change his diaper." And I was like, "I'm still drunk. I gave her the baby."
And she said, "You know, I can't go. I can't go on with this. I'm going back home to my family. You get out of that plane and you go."
And we were already past customs, you know, and so she turned around and walked away.
I got on the plane and I ended up in Fort Lauderdale.
And the moment that I got out of that plane, I started drinking until I passed out and then they woke me up.
And I didn't even realize I had landed. And I went with my friend model and I'll tell you from,
I got a job with one of the biggest plumbing companies in South Florida out of Miami Springs, Florida.
And they paid me very well because I'm very good at what I do. And I don't say that, just to say that.
I am good at what I do.
I worked with this company from 1991 to 1993.
In 1993, I got fired because I couldn't stop drinking.
I ended up homeless, living in a cardboard box in a park in downtown Miami called Bicentennial Park.
You all see that park today on TV because that's where the Miami Heat played.
But back then, the Miami arena was under Cross Street in Overtown.
They weren't there where Bicentennial Park is, where Bayfront Park is.
So I lived in that park in a box.
From '92 to '95. And there was a homeless center across the street from that park.
It was called the Camilla's House.
They had a program there called the Change Room. There was a guy there by the name of Father Harry.
And then there was a lady there by the name of Clara Dan.
She ran that program. She's the lady that wrote the Marchman's Act here in the State of Florida.
And that lady became very special to me. She always reached out to me.
But I wasn't ready. You know, when you're not ready, you're not ready.
It's just the way it is.
The father would always approach me when I would stand on the supervisor.
I would go there Monday, Wednesday and Friday to take a shower, get my care package, and then I was good.
Because I had a formula. You know, when I was homeless, I developed a formula.
And the formula for me was this. I'm going to tell you what it is.
If I could muster to hustle, to get $20 to $25 every day, I was good.
I had my OP 800. I had a Marlboro Red. And if I had the 2020, I would go.
I didn't need anything else. You know? And I did that. I hustled and I made sure I had that every day.
And I lived like that from '92 to '95.
And I never got into any kind of trouble in the park or nobody ever messed with me.
I mind my own business. And my cardboard box goes by the water. I was an oceanfront property.
I was on the inner coast, I was living large, and I had a flap.
When it rained, I closed my flap and I wouldn't get wet.
And, you know, for years, I never questioned what was wrong with me. I just didn't care.
I got to the point in my life where I didn't care.
And then the day came on October 27th of 1995. I woke up that morning and I took a drink
and I couldn't feel about sex produced by that.
And I was yellow. This is what they told me. I don't remember this, but this is what they told me.
When I went over to the Camilla's house and I rang that doorbell, the priest came down
and I said, "Do you have that head available?" And he said, "We don't. But I know where you can go."
So he gave me a bus token.
And he says, "I need you to go to this ad for $7.55 on the '79 street.
The name of the place is called "The Little River Club." Oh, man.
And I said, "Okay." He says, "When you go there, you tell them that we sent you from the Camilla's house,
and you tell them that you need help."
I was at 8 o'clock in the morning when I rang that bell.
It took me until like 5.36 o'clock in the afternoon to get up there.
Because I had a drink along the way. I just couldn't go there alone.
And I was drinking and I wasn't feeling the effect and I got to The Little River
and there was a bunch of guys in there and a bunch of gals in there.
But this is what happened to me and this is my story and this is my experience.
And I met a guy by a pair of things right.
And I met a guy by the name of Hank.
And those guys were the whole time.
They welcomed me.
They took one look at me and they were happy that I was there.
They were like, "Oh man, I got a white one."
And they sat me down. They gave me a cup of coffee.
I spilled their coffee on me because I was shaking.
They took the cup away.
They brought me another half a cup of coffee and this time it was a half.
And then they put a straw in it and they said, "Do not pick up the cup, sir.
I still have that coffee cup today, 29 plus years later."
There was a guy in there that was doing a step series.
His name was Ray O'Keefe.
He was starting the steps and he was on step one.
And I don't know for some reason, man.
These guys, these dudes, when you're new and you're green and you're like shaking,
they put you in the front of the room.
So they sat me in the front of the room and Ray was doing the steps.
He's done with the steps.
He came off that podium and he looked at him directly and said,
"Welcome to how hard it's not.
It's good to see a young man and a meal about how it's not.
I hope you make it back to him."
And then I never seen that guy again.
That night I had a black construction bag where my personal belongings.
That was my suitcase, my luggage.
And I was getting ready to leave.
And that guy that I told me that greeted me at the door, his name was Frank.
He said, "Where are you going?"
And I said, "I'm going home."
He said, "You have to go home."
You know what I'm saying?
And he said, "Is there anything we can do to help?"
And then he said these words, "Are you willing to go to any place?"
And I said, "I'm willing to do whatever it takes."
And I don't even know where that came from.
This guy had a 1970 green Cadillac convertible with white interior.
And him and Hank, they put me in the back of the car.
And I was getting ready to throw up and he opened up the trunk.
And he pulled out a bottle of wall turkey and he told me to drink it.
And I started drinking it.
And I went from shaking to...
And they took me to detox.
I ended up going to this place called Central Detox, 22nd Avenue in northwest 25th Street in Miami.
And I stayed there for four or two days.
And after I got out of detox, they took me to a place called Structured Treatment Program, STP.
It was a residential treatment facility for men, all men, no women.
And I signed up for 28 days.
They kept me there for nine bucks.
That's to show you how sick I was.
I was at the end of 28 days.
I was ready to leave that place.
I wanted to leave.
But there was a guy there by the name of Ronald Simpson.
And I can use these people's last names because they're all in my life still today.
They separate, break out.
Ronald came to me and said, "Hey, man, let us help you.
You need a hard work."
And I said, "I ain't got no money to stay here another 29, 28 days."
He said, "Whoever asked you if you had money, all I need you to do is sign this paper.
You're indigent. You're qualified."
I didn't even know what the definition of indigent was back then.
The only thing I heard was, "You don't have to pay any money."
So I stayed.
And I stayed there for nine months.
And after the nine month period, I never went to a sober living house for a minute.
Then he owned and he bring Ron, the guy from the treatment center.
And then I went back to AA.
So when I went back to AA, I went back to the living room club.
And there's that guy right over here.
Coming back again to do a step series.
But this time around, he saw me and he came up to me.
And he said, "You see that guy over there? His name is Al. That's my sponsor."
He says, "You're going to be my pigeon."
So he gave me a quarter.
And he gave me his phone number.
And he said, "I want you to call me."
And back then, we had pay phones. I don't know if you guys would be.
So I picked up my nine month chip.
They'd take the quarter to it.
And he said, "I want you to call me tomorrow.
I want you to tell me where you live. I'm going to come pick you up and take you to a meeting."
And I got to became my sponsor.
So I started going to all these meetings with this guy.
I didn't have a car. I didn't have a pop to piss in.
I didn't have a window to throw in. I didn't know what was going to happen with my lights.
I didn't know where I was going to go.
I went back into the plumbing industry. I got me a job with another company.
And I started working these steps.
So
I started doing coffee for this home group called the Miami men's group.
I started cleaning coffee pots. I started cleaning ashtrays.
The meetings were smoking meetings back in those days.
I had a lot of problems.
You know, we come in with a lot of problems.
Right? And I tell Ray, you know, "How am I going to get a job?"
He says, "When you're ready, you get a job."
He was very -- he was very -- "Woop!" -- "When you're ready."
So
he calls me up one day at the sober living house.
And he says, "My wife is going to New York to my parents for a week.
I'm going to pick you up and you're going to come to my house and we're going to go to the book."
And that was on a Friday. And he said, "Pack like if you want to movie me."
(Laughter)
"You're going to be there for a couple of days."
I started going through the big book of how much I'm not on this on a Friday.
By Sunday, I already had my first line steps done in three days.
I had a list, and I asked him. I said, "How do you know about the nice steps?"
He says, "Listen, monkey, you're doing it with me."
(Laughter)
So I had a big list of immense that I needed to.
You know, I'll share a couple of them. They're very important.
My sponsor, Ray, actually, he knew me very well about my son.
"Where's my son? Are you paying any child support?"
I'm like, "I don't have to pay any of that stuff."
She took him away from me. He says, "Oh, you're going to have that attitude.
You're going to go back out to drink."
And he said to me one night, he says, "Tomorrow morning I'm picking you up
and we're going downtown to a meeting downtown."
He was an attorney. He was a professor of law. He was a judge.
I used to go to these exclusive meetings with him.
This guy takes me down to the department of children and family in terms of meetings.
(Laughter)
He takes me down there, and he tells the people, "Here he is."
They asked me for my social security, my date of birth.
I thought they were going to arrest me, but they didn't.
They said, "Okay, we're going to start God is in your wages."
I caught the big resentment with my sponsor for doing that.
Then, when I was working for that plumbing company,
I stole money from it.
We all politics would like to justify a lot of this stuff.
(Laughter)
I was a super attendant. I was a supervisor. They gave me a card.
I had a credit card. One of the biggest responsibilities I had was to make sure
that I had H2O water on the job to make sure the guys were high-graded.
But I would take that a step further. I would buy me back then.
I had, and I still got this cup at home, a 7-11 slurpee cup with big ones.
I would fill it up with alcohol and buy a six-pack on that card.
And then I would buy my cigarettes on that card.
And I told my sponsor that that was acceptable with the company.
And he said, "They didn't tell me about that. They told me about water."
And I'm like, "Shit."
So I had to do some financials, right?
I thought it was $15,000 that I owed there.
And my sponsor said, "No, let's make it 30 for all the heartaches that you're costing."
So I had to call this guy up, the owner of the company.
And I called him up, and I said, "I need to make an event with you."
And I meet you, and he says, "Yes, I'll be at the golf course in Miami Springs.
I'll be at the country club."
When you get to the door, just tell them that you're here to see me.
So I went down there, and I told him, I said, "Listen, I don't know. I owe you about $15,000."
My sponsor says, "Dirty, so I want to try to come in the middle."
And I have a checkbook, and I want to make financial events. I don't want to drink anymore.
I said, "I'm willing to go to jail if you want me to go to jail."
And I said, "What I can afford to pay you right now is a hundred hours, every two weeks."
And he says, "Give me a check."
So I gave him a check, and I kept sending him a check every two weeks.
When I get paid, two years later, he calls me, and he says, "I need your help."
And I said, "What's going on?"
And I said, "Am I going to go to jail?"
I got freaked out, and he said, "You know?"
He says, "My son Wayne has a drinking problem, can you go?"
I understand that you are helping a lot of those plumbers in the industry with that A&A business that you do.
And I said, "Sure, I'll be right down."
So I went down to their office, and we did an intervention on his son.
I took him to his first A&A meeting.
That man springs at Mrs. Claremont Dance Group.
And Wayne has been sold for the other six.
And I kept sending him checks, and then he calls me one day, and he says, "I don't want you to send me any more checks."
I said, "If I don't do this, my sponsor is going to be pissed."
And he says, "I'll write you a letter for your sponsor."
I'm trying to make you out of those duties.
And I did it, and that was the end of it, right?
In 2003, I got in trouble with the law.
I got convicted for two felony charges, and they was blind.
I'm not proud of that.
That happened, but I was not drinking.
I was in sobriety when that happened.
I was married to a young lady,
and I took her against her will, and they charged me for that.
And I got two fellows.
There was a guy involved.
I beat the crap out of him, I'm not proud of that.
That's where the other felony came in.
I just lost it.
I got arrested over to jail and call your county jail.
And my sponsor came and got me out.
I did the probation, I did all that stuff.
Matter of fact, the probation officer was one of us.
She was in AA.
I walked into her office, and she says, "What the hell are you doing here?"
Came to a reporter.
Nobody wanted to jail.
There was a mural report, "We go to jail."
And she says, "I can't believe this is happening."
And I said, "Well, I can't believe it either, but here we are."
Right?
So I did 18 months, they gave me three years of probation.
I did 18 months.
I got to all the classes.
I had a bunch of classes that I had to do.
Anger management, all those kind of classes.
Pay a bunch of fines, a bunch of fees.
And they told me that I was in the clear to go, but I still had those two fellows.
In 2005, my sponsor had this idea that I should go and take the stake test to become a stake
club contractor in the state floor.
And I told him, "Do not give me that license."
I said, "This is shut up stupid."
Fill out the application.
We filled out the application, and you know what that state application, there's a point
that says, "Have you ever been convicted of a felony?"
I put, "Yes."
Explanation.
I said, "Please see attachments."
And I stapled them, all the paperwork, and I submitted them.
Eight days later, we get a letter saying that I was accepted to be able to go and take
the test.
I did not open that letter.
I gave it to my sponsor.
I said, "Here you are.
You want me to do this crap?"
I'm tired of being protected.
So he opened the letter and he says, "They accepted you, monkey."
And I was like, "Shit."
And I'll tell you guys, I never wanted to go and get my master's license.
I was okay, just being an employee, a journeyman plumber.
I was okay with that.
So the state sent me another letter saying that I had to go to school.
So here I am, I had to go to a place called Loop's Floor.
This is school down there.
So I would drive up every weekend and I did that for nine months.
And then I went and I took the test and I went.
It was a three-day test.
Two-day Wednesday Thursday.
There was about 10,000 plumbers in the state, only 500 in the past.
I was one of those.
And then I went in front of the board.
There was this lady with a gavel and she said, "She called my name."
And she says, "Come here, come here."
And she says, "Do you know why you're here?"
And I'm like, "Oh."
She says, "Well, we've got your application.
We've read everything that you submitted.
We want to tell you that we thank you for being honest.
Welcome to the state of Florida.
We'll give you a plumber in the back to call traffic license."
And I got my license.
And I'll share just one last thing here.
I have a friend that's an attorney.
I love those guys.
You know, they're attorneys, bankers.
We were members of the same home group in South Florida for many years.
In 2019, he was always on me about my felonies.
You need to make this right.
We have to apply to get a party.
I'm like, "Don, screw that.
You're not going to give me a party."
And so we did our own thing.
In 2019, COVID came in 2020.
I moved from South Florida to Spring Hill.
In 2024, we get correspondence from the state of Florida.
And they granted me my party.
You know, from my felonies, I'm clear.
I don't owe the state of Florida anything anymore.
I'll have that hangover.
I got two other kids that are in my life.
And I don't have much time, but I have to share this real quick.
I had two other kids while I was sober.
And I screwed those relationships up.
Sober.
You don't have to drink to be screwing shit up.
You know what I'm saying?
So I screwed it up sober.
And then I had to go back and make a mess to my children.
And thank God for AA because of the steps.
I have them in my life.
And today they call me Dad.
Today my grandkids call me Papa.
I got four beautiful grandkids and I got one more coming.
I was at a big shower today.
This afternoon.
Today is been a hell of a day.
Workshop in the morning, maybe shower in the afternoon.
And then I'll come here to speak for y'all.
All about AA.
You know, and, you know, when I was leaving this afternoon,
my son said to me that, you know, you would have missed this if you would have been drinking.
That's, I think, I think on everything, you know, before another opportunity.
You know, and if you're new, if you're new, if you're new, I want to tell you guys
that alcoholics and animals work and really work.
If you put the effort and you put the time into it,
I continue to do this work because it continues to work in my life.
Today stops working.
I want to be, I want to be around you people.
But guess what?
God proves me wrong all the time.
When I got sober, brand new and sobriety, my sponsor said to me,
I want you to do these things.
I want you to wake up in the morning, I want you to ask God for help.
I want you to ask God to put you where He would want you to be.
I want you to ask God to put somebody in your path that you can be of use to listening.
And then at nighttime, I want you to say thank you.
If you made it through the day, then you're sober.
And he said, I asked him, I said, and when do I stop saying that?
He said, I'll tell him.
He died in 2006 and I'm still saying it to him.
You know, I think this works.
I had no God when I came to alcoholics now.
Today I have a God full of love, kind, compassion.
I mean, it's just amazing to like that I live today.
I have a cool, literal life.
You know, I have a young lady that I live with that's sick today.
We've been going through some health issues with her.
And I'm able to be there for her, you know.
I spent the last seven days I was in the hospital where they found a hole in her heart
and then she had a double mastectomy and there was an infection and I'm like freaking out.
And you know, it's like, but God does for me what I can't do for myself.
And I have people in AA that I pick up your phone and the language of the heart is always there.
You know, and that's what I get when I come to places like this.
I want to thank you guys for allowing me to be here and for asking me to come.
Thank you for letting me share.